This Artistic Life.

by Leave a Comment

Two confessions:
1. I am a public radio addict. Morning Edition, Eight Forty-Eight, Fresh Air, All Things Considered, This American Life. Without cable and time, I have limited connections to what is going on in the world. Thanks to public radio, namely WBEZ and NPR, I’m at least tuned in. More than that, I find the sound of their voices comforting, their stories fascinating, and let’s not ignore the fact that it has rescued me from the utter dread that is pop music radio.
2. I have taste. I have a deep love for all things artistic and I consider myself an artist of words, images and food. But I often recognize as I write, paint, photograph or cook that while I know the difference between what’s good and what isn’t, I am just not up to par with others out there. It took me a long time to admit this, and while the thought is somewhat discouraging, it’s also inspiring. So the more I see of something that’s good, the more I aspire to become good… After all, art and excellence take practice.
Just ask Ira Glass, creator of This American Life.
I dedicate this video to impeccable taste, and to the day when our abilities finally live up to it…

Better Mistakes Tomorrow.

by Leave a Comment

This is my new philosophy:
proportional_1000_mike_monteiro_mistakes_800px_largeview
I am not perfect. Far from it, in fact, and it’s really been bothering me. I annoy myself, quite often.
It doesn’t help that I have this theory that writers, more than most people (except for maybe designers and politicians) are thrown over the coals for mistakes we make. Why? Because our mistakes are out there in black and white.
It’s rather crippling when you think about it. And I think about it a lot.
Like, for example, when I’m about to send a mass email to 2,000+ people, or share a Facebook status, or publish an article on a website, or post on my blog… the possibilities are frightening. I scan every word, phrase and punctuation mark to see if I’ve done it right.
… And then, let the palm-to-forehead moment commence!
Or not.
Either way, I’m terrified that I’ve screwed everything up.
This is my excuse for the notebooks full of ideas that have never been explored, the plethora of blog drafts that have never been published, the unwritten articles that float around in my head: It’s scary.
Trust me. I’m notorious as the picky, stuck-up writer that’s constantly correcting others’ spelling, grammar, punctuation and pronunciation flubs.
The truth is, I spend a lot of time worrying that someone else is judging me just as harshly. It happens! And when it does it stings, like a band aid has been ripped off and all my insides are exposed. My flaws, raw and real for everyone to see. A classic case of the pot vs. the kettle.
Jon’s first post on his new site reminded me today, though, that a plethora of unwritten articles, a notebook full of unexplored ideas and a blog full of unpublished drafts mean nothing. They don’t help anyone, least of all myself. Of course, as a writer I believe in avoiding posting the first draft of anything. But the real problem comes when I never post anything.
My old philosophy: if you can’t write it “right,” then don’t write it at all. But that’s not what this blog is about, nor is it an effective philosophy for a writer.
The true process is always the same:
1. Write.
2. Then right.
3. Repeat until you come to the best combination of fresh words and edits.
4. Publish.
5. Give gratitude (or apologize) when appropriate.
So, my new philosophy is about accepting my mistakes, swallowing my pride, and doing my best. And if I fail, at least I have a lesson to learn from.
Strive for excellence, not perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist. Perfection is that nasty, cynical voice in your head, criticizing everyone around you and at the same time, telling you:
“If you try it, you could fail and that’s worse than if you never did it at all.”
In truth, perfection is envious of the freedom and confidence that others exhibit when they accept themselves as they are.
Maybe that’s why God made me a writer: it continues to teach me about grace. Our flaws are part of who we are, but they’re not the only part. The flaws don’t outweigh the gifts, and the passion that we possess to fulfill our purpose in life.
So here’s to tomorrow, to better mistakes next time, and the grace to write about it anyway.

30 for 30 Challenge, or How Not to Go Naked to Work.

by Leave a Comment

It should come as no surprise to any of you that I am a shopaholic.
If you haven’t met me, here are the obvious clues:
1. I’m 23 and I’m female.
2. I’m 23, I’m female and I was born in the 80′s. We are living in a material world and I am a material girl…
3. I’m 23, I’m female, I was born in the 80′s and I live in Chicagoland.
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS AND THEY ARE EVERYWHERE.
But alas, this material girl has had a lot less material to work with in the last few years. I graduated college, got married and our fledgling money tree has a lot of growing to do. My credit card is maxed, my income is minimal, and my hubby and I are learning to live within our means.
So when I stumbled upon a few fashion bloggers in my ongoing quest for creative inspiration, my clothing obsession hit a whole new level. These girls looked so freakin’ cute, but I was sure I didn’t have the resources to pull that off.
I was wrong. I’ve recently become addicted to KendiEveryday, a blog that feeds my fashion addiction but also delivers an important message:
AFFORDABLE FASHION IS ATTAINABLE.
Don’t believe me? Check out Kendi’s 30 for 30 Challenge, which I am now participating in. The game goes like this: take 30 pieces from your closet, skirts, pants, dresses, jackets, shirts and shoes. Remixonly those pieces for 30 days into 30 different outfits. At the end, you’ll have a better idea of the staple pieces that your wardrobe might be lacking, and you’ll be less likely to impulse-purchase yet another flowy jersey-cotton top from Target’s clearance rack.
I know, it sounds a little nuts. Maybe it is. But here’s the reason why we think this concept is nuts, or at least, here’s the reason why I thought so:
If you’re like me, you’re the kind of girl that… approximately every 15 days or so goes to get dressed in the morning and stares into the closet thinking, “I might just go naked to work today.”
Because nothing fits. Nothing is bright and shiny and new in there. Nothing matches my mood. Nothing says cutting edge. Everything is old and dowdy and overworn.
Here comes trouble in the form of this one thought, “If only I could make a quick trip to Target or H&M…”
Enter Hubby [or sister, roommate, mom, or boyfriend]: “No way can you afford another shopping trip.”
And then one of two things happens, and neither are good.
1. I ignore hubby and buy something anyway, wear it repeatedly for two weeks, and then slide back into my fashion funk.
2. I abide by hubby’s wishes, wallow in my fashion funk and look like a slob for several days until I finally do all my laundry, find an item I forgot about because it was buried in a pile for 2 weeks, and begin putting effort into my appearance again.
How is this sustainable living? How is this learning to live within my means and be thankful for what I have? How is this using my creativity in all parts of my life? It’s not, it’s not, it’s not. We’re only in our 20s, friends. We’re going to be forever broke and miserable if we keep doing this to ourselves. [Sounds a little familiar… like I’ve heard it in the news recently or something, no?]
Fashion, personal style, is more than just the clothes you wear or the latest item you’ve purchased. It’s creativity, and it’s confidence in yourself. And it should be created through sustainable means.
I’m beginning to realize that this is how habits change – by challenging ourselves with our own creativity. Whether it’s words or clothes or food or design or dollars and cents, we can only realize our potential when we challenge it’s limits. It’s how we grow.
SO I’m joining the 30 for 30 challenge. I definitely won’t be able to post about it every day, or post cute pics of myself in my ensembles, but I’m doing it anyway. Want to join me? Head on over to Kendi’s and sign yourself up!

The sorts of things that never happen to me, ever.

by Leave a Comment

I never wake up late four days in a row.
I never wake up late, get ready for work with the vision of the most perfect outfit ever and then proceed to rip a gigantic hole in my brand new, never worn tights and then yell expletives for the next 3 minutes as I figure out what to wear instead, making myself even later for work.
I never cook myself roasted eggplant and crostinis for dinner and add way too much garlic to the recipe and regret it for the following 24 hours.
I never drink an extra glass of wine with my dinner because I’m home alone and no one is watching.
I never tweet when I’m annoyed with something or someone.
I never miss project deadlines at work.
I never find myself supremely annoyed when people respond to my email requesting the attachment they forgot with, “yes, I will send that attachment along!” without the attachment…
I never procrastinate on calling people because I hate talking on the phone with a passion.
I never get self-conscious when old professors ask me if I’ve applied to grad school or looked for other jobs yet and answer, “No, but…“
I never respond to someone’s comment on a political topic with, “Yeah, I totally agree” and then run to my computer and look it up on Wikipedia.
I never procrastinate on writing on a blog post because I’m just not sure what to say.
I never procrastinate on writing a a blog post because no one commented on my last post.
I never watch a mini-series on the Spanish channel instead of writing or reading a book.
I never get discouraged when friends and acquaintances tell me, “Loved your last blog post!” because they read it but didn’t comment on it or share it with a friend.
I never find myself wondering if I’ve written a blog post that makes people question my sanity, or at the very least, my ability to write.
I never get offended or annoyed with friends when they ask why blogging or social media matter.
I never get self-conscious when I hear people say that they never ever intended to be a writer/artist/photographer/designer but somehow got published anyway.
Those things never happen in my world, ever. Just in case you were wondering.
The sort of thing that does happen to me:
I drive to work grumbling about all of the things that never happen to me and suddenly find myself riveted to the radio interview of a gifted poet who just came out with a book I absolutely must read.
So in case you also find yourself analyzing all the things that do or don’t happen to you on a given day, please read this poem and find yourself inspired. That is, if you ever do find yourself inspired by poetry, which I know might never happen to you. In which case, don’t.

2011. Day 8, Post 1: Be Fearless.

by Leave a Comment

Eight days into the new year, and I have a serious confession to make.

I am addicted to fear.

Not the kind that compels me to watch slasher-movies and visit haunted-houses and ride the biggest roller-coasters at a theme park. Those experiences are more nauseating than exhilarating by far.

I’m the kind of fear-aholic that feeds on my own insecurity. The big “what if” has been my constant companion for most of my life, always there to tell me the cold, hard truth about myself when my dreams start to get a little too lofty. I know I’m not alone in this, but let’s face it, there are people out there that are way better at handling it than me. That’s part honesty, part symptom of my addiction. Yes, there are better, braver writers out there. However, I’ve manipulated myself with those thoughts, to points where I don’t allow myself to believe that I’m capable of that level of success. Writer’s envy sets in. I want that life. The free-lancing, kick-ass blogging, work-from-an-amazing-loft-downtown kind of writing life.

But I fear being mediocre.
I fear that I will half-ass everything and that people will notice.
I fear that I will do my absolute best and people will still believe that I half-assed everything.
I fear that I am incapable of following through with anything.
I fear that there is a better way to spend my time than trying to “be a writer” and I just can’t see it.
I fear that I am committing to myself to too many things to be successful at even one.
I fear that if I deny one opportunity to focus on another, I will make the wrong choice.
I fear that time will go too fast for me to accomplish my goals for my career.
I fear that I will always long for parts of my past instead of being happy in the present and working towards new opportunities.
I fear that I’ll be too busy chasing the wrong opportunities to notice when the right ones have passed me by.

When I’m being honest with myself, I know that my writer’s envy and my fear are only there to consume me and steal my talent away from the capability that God gave me. I don’t want anyone else’s life, just my own. The restlessness and the fear and the self-judgment are what I’m going to purge in 2011. And in it’s place, I’m letting my dreams and passion have free reign.

I don’t know when exactly I finally came to this decision, but sometime in 2010 I finally began to articulate what it is I want to do. I want to be a storyteller. I want to tell amazing, true stories of people’s lives. Stories about people that have conquered illness, tragedy and their own fear. Stories of tremendously talented people that are casting out their insecurities and confronting their creativity.

2011 is the Year of the Blog for this writer. With the help of some talented friends of mine, you’ll begin to see some changes around here. And with the help of some of my other resolutions [being more organized and vigilant about my schedule] you’ll have a lot more to read.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a list of the most inspiring posts I read in 2010. These are the posts that helped me realize: I have nothing to fear but fear itself. The anecdote: Honesty. Sharing your story in order to encourage others.

Kendi Everyday:

Fearless
Create a Working Closet: Part 3 – Organize

And my complete list of blog love, the ones I read OBSESSIVELY:

Making it Lovely
Kendi Everyday 
Better Off Wed
Stuff Christians Like
What I Wore 
Makeunder My Life
baum-kuchen
A Cup of Jo
To My Wife

Thank you to all of you bloggers and writers out there who continue to share your story and assure people like me, that yes, it’s possible.

“Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.”
– Henry David Thoreau