So this is what I hope my freelance home office will look like this summer, weather permitting. Note the pot of impatiens that survived last week’s squirrel massacre. Does that make me a successful gardner? Because if the flowers survive, then we can get a dog… someday. Right?

We set all these weird little milestones for ourselves, building the strange, constant mix of pride and anxiety that we label adulthood. And it’s lovely and hard and crazy and terrifying, but we only get one shot.

On that theme, and in honor of  my freelance plans, here are some inspiring links.

“For me, becoming an adult hasn’t been a transition from one person to another: it’s been sinking into the eclectic, unexpected combination of everyone I’ve ever been, all rolled into one. Refreshing, isn’t it?”

Helena asked a really good question that forced me to think about a a personal weakness of mine : Were you taught about financial literacy? Or did you learn the hard way?

“It takes you to a place of non-conformity and non-complacency, keeps you on edge, helps you search and strive for something deeper, fuller, more true. Restlessness makes you a better person. Restlessness is godliness because God doesn’t want us to be stuck. He wants us on the move.” On restless and why it’s important.

“I spent the first couple of years just waiting for the ‘job of my dreams’ to come to me. I figured it would show up on my doorstep or something. I prayed a lot about it, but I didn’t do very much about it, and surprise surprise — not very much happened.” Is This the Life of Your Dreams?

“Young people in relationships tend to give negative things too much weight and underrate the positives…  But look at married couples in their eighties. Their little annoyances are often all they talk and joke about. ‘Oh, Miriam always says this…’ ‘Oh, Herb always does that…’ The little annoyances are acknowledged, accepted and part of the fabric of their relationship.” I love Alex and Jo’s thoughts on living and loving, even when they’re annoyed.

And last but best, how blogging changed her life. What decisions have changed your life?

We always lament the rain when we want sunshine, when we want the weather to match our mood. There are times, though, when a sunny day doesn’t quite touch our emotions, either. It’s June. Six months into the new year. It doesn’t seem possible. And I’m happy for sun and warm weather and dresses and the way that I always feel younger and the days always seem longer in summer. But this season can also feel nonchalant, detached, like the world around me has forgotten. I know it’s all in the process of grieving… and maybe that’s why I find such deep comfort in words, and this poem in particular.

When I Am Asked
By Lisel Mueller

When I am asked
how I began writing poems,
I talk about the indifference of nature.

It was soon after my mother died,
a brilliant June day,
everything blooming.

I sat on a gray stone bench
in a lovingly planted garden,
but the day lilies were as deaf
as the ears of drunken sleepers
and the roses curved inward.
Nothing was black or broken
and not a leaf fell
and the sun blared endless commercials
for summer holidays.

I sat on a gray stone bench
ringed with the ingenue faces
of pink and white impatiens
and placed my grief
in the mouth of language,
the only thing that would grieve with me.

Fun fact : it rained on my wedding day. Another fun fact : I lived with my in-laws for the first ten months of my marriage. Yep. It’s about to get real awkward over on Prodigal Mag today as I share thoughts on weddings, marriage, and what it means to be blessed. Join the fun over here.

P.S. My Prodigal Mag archives.

Most commencement speeches are so overrated. I know for sure that I slept through my college keynote at one point, until the speaker broke into operatic song. Then I was awake and so ready to walk across that stage and be done already for the love of God. But looking back, it all went by too quickly and everything from that day is a blur with a few freeze frame photos thrown in for good measure.

And now here I am, three years later, and this week I’ve been mulling over hard decisions about work and career stuff and wishing I could just go back to that moment a few years ago when everything felt simple and possible.

Okay, maybe the “everything simple and possible” part is an exaggeration. But I could really use a pep talk, a commencement speech for this time when things are changing and I have to try something new. The average day doesn’t allow for the pomp and circumstance and some highly accomplished “expert” in randomness using sports analogies to encourage me, Carpe Diem! You’re young! Go out and do amazing things!

And so, in honor of my brother who is graduating high school today (omg!), and to give myself and you a little pep in our next steps, here’s a better-than-your-average-commencement-speech round up :

The Opposite of Loneliness.

“The most terrible and beautiful and interesting things happen in a life. For some of you, those things have already happened. Whatever happens to you belongs to you. Make it yours. Feed it to yourself even if it feels impossible to swallow. Let it nurture you, because it will.” – The Future Has an Ancient Heart.

“Don’t wait for some dumb boy to give you closure. You give yourself closure. That’s real. Tie that mess right on up. Buy ice cream if necessary.” – These Things I’ve Learned.

“So what if someone started 8 years before you and it seems like they’ve achieved everything you’ve ever wanted? Start now. Don’t dwell on how far you still have to go. Eight years from now (trust me, that time will fly) the only thing that’ll make a difference is whether or not you got started in the first place and kept going. Compare yourself to you: past, present, and future.” – Good advice for belly dancing, writing and life.

In case you’re ever stuck in a rut of self-loathing, go laugh your ass off at Adventures in Depression with Hyperbole and a Half. No really, do it.

Play to the size of your heart, not the size of the crowd.

And if all else fails, ask yourself : What kind of story are you liv­ing with your life?

Now Carpe Diem! You’re young! Go out and do amazing things.

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