It’s been a month. One month without mom. Without her voice, her touch, her face, her thoughts. I expected to be immovable, stranded on an island of grief and away from the world that I understand. But grief defies expectations, and so does faith. When the two interact, we often find ourselves in unfamiliar territory; rough, but not impossible.

This is where I find myself, one month into this new chapter of life, this new year where nothing and everything is different. The thing is, for me, the girl that moved away from home nearly seven years ago ne’er to return, my life looks the same in so many ways. But it feels different on the deepest levels.

And so when I started working through the idea of change, writing this post a couple of weeks ago prompted me to think about tangible ways to embrace that change. I’m not one to make resolutions; I’m usually one to break them. When I have made new year resolutions, February usually marks the end of effort and there’s a celebratory burning of the resolution list. I can be just that rebellious against myself.

But this February is different. I am different.

Maybe it seems inappropriately belated to share a resolution list in February. But life is short. And in one of the last conversations my mom had, she told one of our family members, with clarity and conviction and absolute love, “It’s never too late.”

If we’re not intentional, time rushes past and most of it is wasted. So I’m sharing with you the goals I have for 2012, the ones that will help me embrace change. Next week I’ll share another goal list, my 30 Before 30. Tell me, do you have any goals for 2012? Or goals before you turn a certain age? Now that it’s February, how would you rate your progress with those goals?

- get a physical (for the first time in 2 years)

- visit the optometrist and get a new pair of glasses (for the first time in 5 years)

- visit the dentist (for the first time in 5 years)

- take a bubble bath once per week (this one is going VERY well, I should mention.)
– give myself a weekly manicure (this one has also been a success!)

- read at least 12 books (an average of one per month, but I don’t have to finish each one within 30 days)

- redesign blog and/or convert to WordPress

- double my blog readership

- contribute 11 guest posts for other blogs (average of one per month from February to December)

- write and share at least one new poem per month on my blog

- get one article or poem published in an online or print magazine

- create writing portfolio for graduate school and job interviews

- get business cards for my writiting, editing, and art

- create and sell at least 100 paintings through my Etsy shop

- get up early enough to eat breakfast and write for 30 minutes each morning (working on this one, but not quite there yet)

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