Changing Tides.

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Here’s a thought for your weekend:
“Just because the tide is out, that doesn’t mean there’s less water in the ocean.” -Seth Godin.
So just because our economy is bad, that doesn’t mean we’re lacking resources and ideas. We just have to dig deeper, go to greater distances to find them.
Speaking of resources, the people of Japan are desperate for food, clean water, gasoline, and more. I read my friend Wakako’s post and found myself in tears for the people who are stranded there. Please consider giving to For Japan With Love, which will give all proceeds to Shelter Box, which will give supplies to the people of Japan. Every donation and prayer will help.
Have a good weekend, friends.

If I Look Like One, Maybe I’ll Be One.

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I have an addiction. An addiction to blogs. And not just any blogs. Design blogs. Fashion blogs. It’s a wonderful thing to be addicted to – I can preoccupy myself by reviewing others who dress better, design better, than myself. They have the money and the means to wear all the things I can’t and drape their house in fabrics and furniture and prints that I can only dream of. And the blogs themselves – gorgeous!
I have visions of making my own blog easier on the eye than what I have at this moment. My hope is that before the end of the year, I’ll have a custom design for my blog to introduce to you. A friend is working on it for me, and I can’t wait until that day when my writing finally has a space that visually reflects the same quality.
However, like any addiction, my design-blog obsession has distracted me from what I really want, which is to delve deeper into the world of self-published writing. I’ve found a plethora of writing blogs, but I hardly ever read them because the designs are often nothing less than detestable. I don’t care if you’re the greatest writer to come along since Shakespeare. If you’ve posted your words in lime green over a cerulean background, I won’t get past the title before I click over to something more appealing. (Is there something wrong with taking the basic templates and messing with the color? Live a little, people.)
And so, I have this fear: if my blog isn’t visually appealing, it’s not worth reading no matter how well I write. Which means that my real problem boils down to this thought:
Maybe if I look like a writer, I’ll become one.
I hinge my success on how I appear to others. I may write well for my blog, but to be a successful blogger, I need to grab your attention, right?
Understandable. Proven fact with world wide web analytics. “Content is king” doesn’t matter if no one can read it.
But I can’t allow that to be my excuse not to write, right? Waiting for a better blog design is not a good reason to refrain from posting.
Once again, I find myself peeling back the layers of unnecessary negativity in my life in order to see what’s really there. Underneath it all, I have something good going for me and I need to unearth it. I need to let it out. I need to write. I need to create. I need to share it with others.
Here are some posts that have propelled me forward in my hope for my writing:
Jess Constable at Makeunder My Life has a fresh batch of wisdom every day – I can’t get enough. Read her post about why managing your business is like high school (no cringing necessary!)
Jon Acuff has some interesting things to say about selling out. What is your definition of a sell out? How do you impose that on others, and how do you allow others to impose their opinions on you?
A bad review isn’t the end of the world, right?
I found this blog today – I need more poetry in my life. And maybe I should start posting photos from my idea journal… what do you think?
Tools for writers. Exactly what I need.

This Artistic Life.

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Two confessions:
1. I am a public radio addict. Morning Edition, Eight Forty-Eight, Fresh Air, All Things Considered, This American Life. Without cable and time, I have limited connections to what is going on in the world. Thanks to public radio, namely WBEZ and NPR, I’m at least tuned in. More than that, I find the sound of their voices comforting, their stories fascinating, and let’s not ignore the fact that it has rescued me from the utter dread that is pop music radio.
2. I have taste. I have a deep love for all things artistic and I consider myself an artist of words, images and food. But I often recognize as I write, paint, photograph or cook that while I know the difference between what’s good and what isn’t, I am just not up to par with others out there. It took me a long time to admit this, and while the thought is somewhat discouraging, it’s also inspiring. So the more I see of something that’s good, the more I aspire to become good… After all, art and excellence take practice.
Just ask Ira Glass, creator of This American Life.
I dedicate this video to impeccable taste, and to the day when our abilities finally live up to it…

Better Mistakes Tomorrow.

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This is my new philosophy:
proportional_1000_mike_monteiro_mistakes_800px_largeview
I am not perfect. Far from it, in fact, and it’s really been bothering me. I annoy myself, quite often.
It doesn’t help that I have this theory that writers, more than most people (except for maybe designers and politicians) are thrown over the coals for mistakes we make. Why? Because our mistakes are out there in black and white.
It’s rather crippling when you think about it. And I think about it a lot.
Like, for example, when I’m about to send a mass email to 2,000+ people, or share a Facebook status, or publish an article on a website, or post on my blog… the possibilities are frightening. I scan every word, phrase and punctuation mark to see if I’ve done it right.
… And then, let the palm-to-forehead moment commence!
Or not.
Either way, I’m terrified that I’ve screwed everything up.
This is my excuse for the notebooks full of ideas that have never been explored, the plethora of blog drafts that have never been published, the unwritten articles that float around in my head: It’s scary.
Trust me. I’m notorious as the picky, stuck-up writer that’s constantly correcting others’ spelling, grammar, punctuation and pronunciation flubs.
The truth is, I spend a lot of time worrying that someone else is judging me just as harshly. It happens! And when it does it stings, like a band aid has been ripped off and all my insides are exposed. My flaws, raw and real for everyone to see. A classic case of the pot vs. the kettle.
Jon’s first post on his new site reminded me today, though, that a plethora of unwritten articles, a notebook full of unexplored ideas and a blog full of unpublished drafts mean nothing. They don’t help anyone, least of all myself. Of course, as a writer I believe in avoiding posting the first draft of anything. But the real problem comes when I never post anything.
My old philosophy: if you can’t write it “right,” then don’t write it at all. But that’s not what this blog is about, nor is it an effective philosophy for a writer.
The true process is always the same:
1. Write.
2. Then right.
3. Repeat until you come to the best combination of fresh words and edits.
4. Publish.
5. Give gratitude (or apologize) when appropriate.
So, my new philosophy is about accepting my mistakes, swallowing my pride, and doing my best. And if I fail, at least I have a lesson to learn from.
Strive for excellence, not perfection. Perfection doesn’t exist. Perfection is that nasty, cynical voice in your head, criticizing everyone around you and at the same time, telling you:
“If you try it, you could fail and that’s worse than if you never did it at all.”
In truth, perfection is envious of the freedom and confidence that others exhibit when they accept themselves as they are.
Maybe that’s why God made me a writer: it continues to teach me about grace. Our flaws are part of who we are, but they’re not the only part. The flaws don’t outweigh the gifts, and the passion that we possess to fulfill our purpose in life.
So here’s to tomorrow, to better mistakes next time, and the grace to write about it anyway.

2011. Day 8, Post 1: Be Fearless.

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Eight days into the new year, and I have a serious confession to make.

I am addicted to fear.

Not the kind that compels me to watch slasher-movies and visit haunted-houses and ride the biggest roller-coasters at a theme park. Those experiences are more nauseating than exhilarating by far.

I’m the kind of fear-aholic that feeds on my own insecurity. The big “what if” has been my constant companion for most of my life, always there to tell me the cold, hard truth about myself when my dreams start to get a little too lofty. I know I’m not alone in this, but let’s face it, there are people out there that are way better at handling it than me. That’s part honesty, part symptom of my addiction. Yes, there are better, braver writers out there. However, I’ve manipulated myself with those thoughts, to points where I don’t allow myself to believe that I’m capable of that level of success. Writer’s envy sets in. I want that life. The free-lancing, kick-ass blogging, work-from-an-amazing-loft-downtown kind of writing life.

But I fear being mediocre.
I fear that I will half-ass everything and that people will notice.
I fear that I will do my absolute best and people will still believe that I half-assed everything.
I fear that I am incapable of following through with anything.
I fear that there is a better way to spend my time than trying to “be a writer” and I just can’t see it.
I fear that I am committing to myself to too many things to be successful at even one.
I fear that if I deny one opportunity to focus on another, I will make the wrong choice.
I fear that time will go too fast for me to accomplish my goals for my career.
I fear that I will always long for parts of my past instead of being happy in the present and working towards new opportunities.
I fear that I’ll be too busy chasing the wrong opportunities to notice when the right ones have passed me by.

When I’m being honest with myself, I know that my writer’s envy and my fear are only there to consume me and steal my talent away from the capability that God gave me. I don’t want anyone else’s life, just my own. The restlessness and the fear and the self-judgment are what I’m going to purge in 2011. And in it’s place, I’m letting my dreams and passion have free reign.

I don’t know when exactly I finally came to this decision, but sometime in 2010 I finally began to articulate what it is I want to do. I want to be a storyteller. I want to tell amazing, true stories of people’s lives. Stories about people that have conquered illness, tragedy and their own fear. Stories of tremendously talented people that are casting out their insecurities and confronting their creativity.

2011 is the Year of the Blog for this writer. With the help of some talented friends of mine, you’ll begin to see some changes around here. And with the help of some of my other resolutions [being more organized and vigilant about my schedule] you’ll have a lot more to read.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with a list of the most inspiring posts I read in 2010. These are the posts that helped me realize: I have nothing to fear but fear itself. The anecdote: Honesty. Sharing your story in order to encourage others.

Kendi Everyday:

Fearless
Create a Working Closet: Part 3 – Organize

And my complete list of blog love, the ones I read OBSESSIVELY:

Making it Lovely
Kendi Everyday 
Better Off Wed
Stuff Christians Like
What I Wore 
Makeunder My Life
baum-kuchen
A Cup of Jo
To My Wife

Thank you to all of you bloggers and writers out there who continue to share your story and assure people like me, that yes, it’s possible.

“Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.”
– Henry David Thoreau